Adventures of Elfie, Days 5-6 | Elf on a shelf

Elfie’s great adventure last left you with Sass’s panties hanging up on the TV, and let me tell you…it went over just like I expected.  She didn’t see it at first and she walked all over the house until she finally went into the living room and saw Elfie suspended in her bloomers. She found this to be quite hilarious.

She had preschool that day and I was wondering if she was going to tell the story of the Elf who was in her panties this morning…I know..I was expecting a letter from her teacher too. Luckily, I think we are in the clear.

Since Elfie has been involved in Elf poo, toilet paper and panties the last couple nights, I thought-and so I don’t get calls from social services based on odd stories my daughter recalls-I thought it might be best to lay off the potty humor and go for something a little easier on the ears.

Honestly, last night I was exhausted. Where I usually am up until the wee hours doing homework or something along those lines, I was dead at 9:30. I almost didn’t have Elfie do anything but stay in the tree all night. But I got myself into a little mess and my daughter is excited for the morning to see what Elfie did. So I set up something simple.

I had old stale marshmallows of different sizes up in the pantry. The large ones were real sticky and gross and seemed to melt in the air. I suppose it makes a more realistic snowman and all…it was outfitted with a toothpick nose and marker eyes and mouth. I scattered little stale and hard marshmallows all around and stuck her in the bag. I thought….this is good enough.

Everything Elfie does, bless my daughter’s heart, she cleans up the mess. This time was no exception. I suppose since I wouldn’t eat hard, stale and melty marshmallows, I should have known that wouldn’t stop my two and four year old. And it didn’t *sigh*

So tonight I went down into the play room to think of what Elfie could get into. I found some GI Joes laying there along with their clothes. No doll in this house that comes with removable clothing is clothed. Luckily the Joes also come with plastic underwear so my daughter can’t remove them and come asking me what in the world that thing is. She already says the word “vagina” way too often. Anyway…

Turns out Elfie and Joe are about the same size and I put her in his flight suit. Or I am thinking that is what it is. I glance over and see this little basket that came with their plastic food and thought it would work great for a rescue basket. Just need a chopper……And what better chopper than the ceiling fan? Whola…tonight’s adventure. Hope you enjoy!

Until tomorrow!

~Melissa

I did it…so…Baaaaah! | Elf on a shelf

Last year while browsing Pinterest I got wind of something called Elf on a Shelf. I feel like I must have been under a rock because this has been out for quite some time, though I just learned of it. So I find all these funny pictures all over and I decide to look into it. What is all this Elf business?

As I get to looking I found I LOVE the idea. Not about trying to teach my children how to be good by lying to them, but because it would open up some fun ideas for me.

In case you have been living under a rock as well, Elf on a shelf is this little ridiculously overpriced, creepy plastic headed, fabric bodied little elf that comes with a book. The basis is that this Elf was sent by Santa to watch your kids (already a creepy vibe) and to report their behavior back to him every night. The parents are supposed to move the elf to different locations each night the elf “returns” and the kids get to find him/her the next morning.

Naturally, funny people need to pick it up a notch and instead of just moving the elf to different places like the TV stand, Christmas tree, shelf and so forth, they have some fun with it.

Just do a simple google search or look on pinterest or even your favorite photographers blog and chances are you’ll be engulfed in the world of Elf pranks.

When I saw pics of the elf fishing for fish crackers or riding around with Barbie I was sold. I WANTED this thing. But I could not fork over $30.00 for this elf of nightmares. *the face is creepy* It really reminds me of those old ventriloquist dummies…and those things freak me out. I watched a movie when I was younger and it would come to life and kill people, I have been traumatized since. So naturally I want to get a little creepo and make up the notion it moves around each night while my children sleep…nope, I don’t want my kids to go through therapy at all. Anyway…

I really wanted this doll, yet the price tag killed it for me. Instead of buying the Elf on a Shelf, I ran into “Grandma Elf” at Marshall’s Home Goods Store for $7.00. I was like, this elf is equally as creepy (somehow this is something I think makes this allll the better) and it is movable so I can make it do more things. I bring it home, it lasts like 4 days and then she hung from the ceiling fan until after the holidays and the decorations came down. Honestly, she just wasn’t the same. 🙂 Here are some of the pics from last yr because I was too cheap to get the actual Elf on a Shelf. *PS, no, my kids actually did not see these at all…..

So this year I was like, I will just get it, definitely more for my enjoyment but Sass is almost 5 so I thought she might get a kick out of it. And boy has she taken to it. Sprout is still too young to care, but she does like finding the Elf my daughter -as witty and spunky as she is and who walks around and calls her sister “ILeeda” as she pretends she is someone else-named, “Elfie.”

On November 30th, I sit down and read the story to the girls and told Sass the basic run down of what Elfie is supposed to do (and I MAY have mentioned she can get mischievous). So the next day when Elfie appeared in a non funny way -though I thought it was cute with the sign and all-already my daughter was like, “That’s all she does?”

Geesh, tough crowd…I suppose I have to kick it up a notch. I have been busy with homework so I decided to do something I have seen before but I thought my daughter would get a kick out of and day two ended up like this…

That morning she comes running up to me laughing her little head off explaining what Elfie did, and bless her heart she put the bag of flour back into the pantry before she came to tell me. So she talked all day wondering what Elfie would do next.

Now at this point she is really no longer a deterrent for Sass to be good because even through all the, “Elfie is going to tell Santa!” she has been her normal Sass self. Now it is a fun game of, “how is mommy going to top the night before.” Or so it feels. My fault. 🙂

So night three I was thinking something with toilet paper needs to be done. I saw where Elves have TP’d the tree, but I really didn’t wanna do that to my pretty tree, so after talking with my friend who mentioned using chocolate chips for Elf poo, I come up with this…

This one Sass was up before me and ran down to see what Elfie had gotten herself in to, and I WISH I followed her down for this one. She has some terrible potty humor (don’t look at me!) and so I hear her and my youngest down there gasping as they take in the sights. I keep hearing, “GASSSSSSP, OOOOOOH MY GOODNESS!!!! OOOOOH MY GOOODNESS!” And my youngest kept echoing everything her big sister had said. Then they saw the poo. I hear an outburst of laughter and they came running up the stairs talking about it. I smile knowing what is about to come, and there they were at the edge of my bed with the doll toilet in hand talking, “MOM! Last night Elfie went poo and (she sniffs it) it smells a lot like cinnamon, and she tried to wipe her butt, but she got ALL tangled up and is now hanging from the curtains!”

I kick myself for not going down with camera in my hand….

She also cleaned up the toilet paper mess on her own. Now, if she would just do that with her toys.

Tonight I tried to think of what would be really funny to her….naturally it would not be something along these lines…

^^unseen adventure of Elfie^^

and went with this. I can’t wait to see if she finds it as funny as I think she will….

So until tomorrow….Have a great night and no nightmares…:)